Hope. (A personal poem)

Here I am, sitting in a dark room with nothing but the light of my laptop. Alone.

There’s music playing in the background but I don’t even hear it.

The scene that’s playing inside my head is louder than anything else.

It’s the scene of you and me.

You’re telling me your true feelings.

And now I sit here and wonder,

“Why would you say such bold-faced lies to me?”

You say that you love me and that no one can replace me.

But, whenever I look at your social network, it’s all about him.

It’s as if I am a tiny little boat being hit by every single wave the ocean has.

I’m being washed away just like every thought you had about me.

Poof.

I’m gone.

I never existed.

I’m a distant figment of your imagination.

I’m dead.

I’m dead inside.

The taste of defeat is all I have to remember you by.

And every time I see you now,

You look so happy.

Like you did before ‘we’ became ‘you’ and ‘me’.

That’s when I was happy, too.

As happy as ever.

But, that’s all gone away, now hasn’t it?

You insist that history is only bound to repeat itself.

But when was the last time you tried to change history?

You don’t need a time machine to undo what’s been done.

You just need to be receptive and willing to let yourself open up.

But, no.

You have him.

He’s the best thing ever, isn’t he?

“He’s the greatest thing ever!”

That could have been me.

That could have been you.

That could have been us.

Now all I have to remember us by is the dark memories that used to be bright.

I would have been the man to listen to you.

I would have been the man to protect you.

I would have been the man to hold you.

I would have been the man to tell you you’re beautiful every day.

I would have been your man.

But, you can’t always have what you want, can you?

All you can do is close your eyes and hope.

Because as humans, that’s all we can control.

Hope.